If you and your partner have decided that you want to elope, but you’re wondering if there are any ways to involve your loved ones still — the answer is a resounding YES! You can absolutely plan an elopement that keeps the focus on the two of you and gives you time together, while also feeling the love and support from your family and friends. So today, I’m giving you 4 meaningful ways to involve family in your elopement, whether that means inviting family members to actually attend your day, or finding ways to include them from afar.
Can You Invite Family to An Elopement?
Short answer: Yes!
Before I give you the long answer, I want to give you a little food for thought:
When you hear the word “elopement,” what do you picture? Maybe it’s a totally private ceremony with just you and your partner, saying your vows in the middle of the mountains. Or maybe you imagine the two of you booking a spontaneous trip, getting married on a whim and not telling anybody you’re doing it.
Whatever you may think an elopement is or isn’t, or whatever you’ve been told by others (family members, society, Instagram, Pinterest. . .), I want to start this blog post out by reminding you that your elopement can look however you want it to. I know that the wedding industry tends to put labels on things, and it can be tempting to want to “categorize” your special day: is it an elopement? A wedding? A micro wedding? An inimate wedding? What the heck do you call it?!
I’ll let you in on a little secret, though: you do not have to have a “correct” label on your wedding in order for it to be valid, worthy, or “good enough.” You don’t even have to label it at all!
Now with all that said, yes – you can absolutely invite your family to your elopement, or find other ways to include them even if you wish to elope just the two of you. I’ll be giving you ways to do each and even sharing timeline ideas for your elopement day below. I hope these encourage you to create a day that fits what you and your partner want, and to let go of any external pressures or expectations you may be facing!
Meaningful Ways to Involve Family In Your Elopement
1. Have a multi-day elopement
This first idea is probably my personal favorite, because it allows you to have plenty of time to yourselves as well as time to spend with your favorite humans: have a multi-day elopement! I’m obsessed with the wedding weekend trend that’s become more popular, where instead of just one huge wedding day, couples are planning a full weekend of festivities — often one day for the official stuff (aka the ceremony), and one day to just hang + enjoy time together. Multi-day celebrations are especially great for destination celebrations, when you and your loved ones are traveling somewhere, because you get time to enjoy the location before you have to head back home.
Now just turn that wedding weekend into an elopement weekend, and you’ve got yourselves a perfect way to have the best of both worlds! Whether you want your celebration to be two days or four days long, with an elopement weekend you can split up your time and activities between the two of you + your loved ones.
There are essentially two ways to set up your multi-day elopement timeline:
- Have your ceremony in private, and have a separate day with your loved ones
- Have your ceremony with guests, and have a separate day for just the two of you
It’s completely up to you, and what your priorities are: would it be more special to have a completely private ceremony, where you can exchange vows without a crowd watching, or would you rather have your loved ones by your side as you tie the knot? There’s no right or wrong answer, every couple is different.
Here’s an example of how your celebration could look if you go with option 1:
Elopement Day 1: You pick a trail to hike in the mountains, and have your ceremony at the summit just before the sun goes down. You pop a bottle of champagne, have a yummy picnic, and take portraits at sunset, before hiking back down. Then you head back to your Airbnb for a full dinner cooked by a private chef.
Day 2: Invite your family over to your Airbnb for brunch, and then head to a nearby lake for a few hours of time together. You can bring drinks, snacks, and enjoy the sunshine as you show your family photos on your phone from your ceremony the day before. In the evening, you plan a family style dinner at a local restaurant that you’ve rented out, and your family gives toasts/speeches before dessert comes out. You either head your separate ways then, or go back to your Airbnb with everyone for a cozy night around the campfire!
Now, here’s an example of what your elopement could look like if you go with option 2:
Day 1: You have an intimate ceremony on the deck of your Airbnb, surrounded by your closest family members and friends. Afterward, you head out to the beach for a picnic and short hike together along the coast, and then go back to your Airbnb for an evening of games, toasts, and celebrating with the people you love. Maybe you even hire a food truck and/or a mobile bar to come bring you drinks + food later in the evening!
Day 2: You say goodbye to your guests and head out on your own private adventure, dressed in your elopement attire for a fun portrait session in the redwoods. You might even bring your pup along to join you! After your adventure session, you find a local brewery to hang out at for a bit before heading out to dinner. You spend the evening watching the sun set and soaking it all in, just the two of you.
(Keep in mind that you can totally swap the days around for either of these options—these are just for the sake of example!)
Overall, this is an awesome option for couples who want to plan a celebration at a location they love, with plenty of time set aside both for the two of them AND their family members + friends.
2. Split up your elopement day
If you like the idea of splitting up your time like this, but don’t necessarily want to plan more than a day of festivities, you can simply split your elopement day in half! I know it’s not always realistic to plan a full weekend or multiple days of celebrations due to time and budget limitations, so this is totally a great alternative that still gives you both time to yourselves and time with the people you love.
First, you’ll want to decide whether you want to have guests present at your ceremony or not — that’ll really determine how the rest of the day goes, and how you should put together your timeline. If you decide you want to have a private ceremony first, then meet up with your loved ones, how fun would it be to do a sunrise ceremony, then meet up with your guests for a celebratory brunch?! Sunrise ceremonies are a great choice if you opt to have just a one-day celebration, since you’ll have the whole rest of the day afterward to celebrate as you please + make the most of your time!
To help you visualize what your day could look like if you split up the time between just the two of you, and then with your guests, here are a couple of (very general) sample timelines that we can customize to you!
Sample timeline — private elopement ceremony at sunrise:
4:30am – Meet your photographer/officiant at trailhead
5:00am – Hike to your ceremony location
6:00am – Private sunrise ceremony
6:30am – Celebratory mimosas + sign marriage license
6:45am – Take portraits + explore the area
7:30am – Hike back to the trailhead
8:45am – Head to your Airbnb for a touch-up/refresh/break
11am – Meet your guests at a nearby restaurant for brunch
1:00pm – Explore the area with your guests, free time
4:00pm – Private dinner at your Airbnb with a local chef
7:00pm – Campfire with your favorite humans
Another option if you’d like to have a private ceremony, but would rather keep it simpler + not have to hike, you could have a brief courthouse ceremony or read your vows together in the morning before meeting up with your guests later in the day.
Sample timeline — ceremony with guests:
9:00am – Breakfast at your Airbnb together
10:30am – Get ready for the day
1:00pm – Guests arrive to your Airbnb
2:00pm – Ceremony in the backyard with guests
2:30pm – Champagne + sign marriage license
3:00pm – Cocktail hour, mingling
5:00pm – Send guests off
5:30pm – Private dinner with an elegant picnic setup
7:00pm – Drive to Sunset Location
7:30pm – Sunset portraits
8:30pm – Cozy up around the campfire
3. Invite guests to participate from afar
These final two ideas are going to be for couples who want to go full-on elopement mode with no guests attending, but still want to find ways to include their most special people.
The easiest way to do this is to invite your favorite people to be a part of your day in a small but significant way! Here are a few of my favorites that I’ve seen couples do before:
- Spend an hour out of your day chatting with them via Facetime: You could do this while you’re getting ready, have a virtual first look with them, or call them after your ceremony! They could even give a toast through the phone while you eat dinner.
- Have them write you letters beforehand: This is a really simple yet special one. If you want to feel the presence of your loved ones on your elopement day, have them write you letters beforehand, and read them at some point during the day; maybe during your ceremony, while you’re getting ready, or in the evening as you soak in the day.
- Have them record videos beforehand: This one’s similar to the letters, if you’d rather hear their voice and see their face. Have them record videos for you beforehand to send their support, encouragement, & well wishes, and watch them as you get ready, play them during your ceremony, or have them specifically record a toast that you can watch in the evening!
Another way that you can sort of include your family and friends from afar is to have pieces of them there on the big day; mementos that make them feel like they’re present with you. This is especially great if you have loved ones who have passed away, and you want to honor + remember them on your special day. Examples could be a photo of them present at your ceremony, a seat saved for them at your dinner table, heirloom jewelry, or anything sentimental that’s been passed down through your family!
4. Plan a post-elopement celebration
Finally, if you just can’t decide between an elopement and wedding, why not have the best of both?! Have your elopement, and then plan a full-on celebration afterward! This could be back home later on (two weeks later, a month later, 6 months later. . .) or in the same area just a few days after you’ve soaked it all in. It’s up to you how hard you go with this — your celebration could be a simple, elevated picnic gathering with a few of your best friends a couple days after your elopement, or a whole reception a month later with 60 of your family members and friends. Hire a caterer/chef, book a local musician, play games, have a cocktail hour; you get to pick and choose what you want to do, and what would mean the most to you!
I also love the idea of having a watch party at this celebration, where you play a slideshow of your sneak peek photos and/or a highlight video from the day if you hire a videographer. Even if you don’t have your official photos/videos back in time, you could put together a slideshow of any phone photos and vids you took, and that’ll really help your guests feel like they were there with you!
There you go, friends—my top 4 favorite ways to include your family in your elopement. Remember that there are literally NO rules, and anything + everything goes: you could have a one-day celebration on your own, a four-day party with tons of people, a weekend of festivities with a day to yourself and a day with your loved ones. . . it’s entirely up to you, and what your dream elopement looks like.
As a West Coast elopement photographer who’s photographed countless different types of elopements, I would love to help you decide what kind of celebration is right for you! I’ve seen it all, so I’ve got plenty of tips I can give you + advice to make sure your day is perfect for you. Reach out to me on my contact page, and we can get started planning the elopement of your dreams 🙂
I’ve got all kinds of elopement resources and inspiration up on the blog—check out some of my favorites below.
